


I know I'm going to be

by torigates



Category: Parks and Recreation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-04
Updated: 2013-11-04
Packaged: 2017-12-31 12:14:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1031602
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torigates/pseuds/torigates
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>That essay hung in every office Ron had over the next twenty years.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I know I'm going to be

 

 

 

2035

 

 

 

“Oh captain, my captain,” Senator Knope took a deep breath, and paused dramatically. “Ron Swanson: a swan song.” Lauren turned out the rest of the speech, as much as she actually liked Senator Knope (or the crazy parks lady, as she sometimes still thought of her), Lauren had never been big on speeches. Especially _government_ speeches. It was pretty hilarious, given Ron’s own opinions vis a vis government officials, but that was an argument the two of them had put to rest a long time ago unless of course one or both of them had been drinking. Which would probably happen. She squeezed Sandy’s hand in a silent apology.

Sandy hated these things even more than Lauren did.

“Why do we have to go again,” she had asked earlier that night.

Lauren sighed. “You know why. Ron’s my friend and he’s retiring.”

Sandy grumbled. “You don’t even like these functions,” she complained. “ _Ron_ doesn’t even like these functions.”

Lauren shrugged. What could she say to that? But it was Ron’s retirement party, and if he was going to be there and miserable, Lauren knew he’d want as many other people to be there and miserable with him.

After the speeches and the lifetime recognition award (and didn’t that just take the cake? Lauren had a sneaking suspicion that Leslie had arranged that just to mess with Ron’s head) there was refreshments and mingling in the courtyard.

Lauren spotted Ron talking to Leslie, and she grabbed two glasses of champagne off a tray as she and Sandy made their way over to say hi.

“Is that his wife he’s talking to?” Sandy asked.

Lauren rolled her eyes. Clearly Sandy had been paying even less attention than she had. “No,” she said. “That’s Senator Knope.”

“Is she the one with--?” Sandy asked.

Lauren nodded. “Yeah, she’s the one who married her campaign manager.” She did a quick scan of the crowd, but didn’t see Ben anywhere in sight. She turned and looked at Sandy. “I’m surprised you remember that, it was like fifteen years ago.”

She shrugged. “The gossip I can remember. It’s just the politics I don’t care for.”

Lauren laughed and kissed her on the cheek.

“... I was going to save it for your eulogy, but I figured this way you could enjoy the speech too,” Leslie was saying.

Ron grunted noncommittally, and Lauren covered a smile with her hand.

“Hey Ron,” she said.

He nodded at her. “Lauren.”

For Ron, that was practically a jubilant greeting.

“Hi Senator Knope,” Lauren said.

“Lauren, hi.”

“This is my wife, Sandy,” she said.

“Of course,” Leslie said. “Very nice to see you again,” she said, and shook both their hands. Lauren smiled again. Leslie had met Sandy once, more than five years ago, but she was already asking questions about how things at the hospital was going, and about their son. She would always be the crazy parks lady, but she was a damn good senator. Coming from Lauren, it was saying a lot.

“So,” Ron said, as Sandy and Leslie continued to talk.

“So,” Lauren agreed. “What’s next for the great Ron Swanson?”

He looked her in the eye. “I plan to drink this here glass of scotch,” he said holding up his drink. Lauren smiled. “Then maybe another two after. Tomorrow I’m going fishing, and I will never set foot inside this building ever again.”

“That sounds about right,” Lauren said. “But you did it. You survived a lifetime as a government employee.”

“Hmm,” Ron said.

“And?” she asked.

“And what?”

“Can you tell me why government matters?”

He grinned. “It doesn’t.”

They clinked their glasses together.

 

 

 

2029

 

 

 

Ron looked up from his desk. “What are you doing here?” he asked.

“I had an appointment.”

He groaned loudly and dropped his head loudly onto his desk. “I hate my new assistant,” he mumbled.

Lauren laughed and sat down across from him. “You hate all your assistants.”

“That’s not true,” he said looking up at her.

Lauren crossed her arms over her chest. “Name one assistant you’ve liked.”

Ron opened his mouth.

“And you can’t say April,” she interrupted. “She hasn’t worked for you in over ten years.”

“That doesn’t mean she wasn’t a damn good employee. She set the bar.”

Lauren rolled her eyes. “Just because this assistant _actually does her job_.”

Ron scoffed. “I taught her better than that.”

“Anyway,” Lauren said. “I stopped by for a reason.”

“I hope it wasn’t to learn about government,” he said. “Because that didn’t go so well for me last time.”

“Ha ha, very funny.”

“Seriously,” he said. “I don’t want your mother showing up here to yell at me again. That was unpleasant.”

Considering Ron found all human interaction unappealing, that wasn’t saying very much. Lauren only rolled her eyes.

“Sandy’s pregnant,” she said without preamble. With Ron it was best to get right into these things. “With a baby,” she clarified when he didn’t say anything.

They had been lucky. Sandy had conceived relatively quickly and painlessly. Given the horror stories Lauren had heard from most of her friends she knew just how lucky they were, and it meant so much to Sandy. She always knew she wanted to have kids, and Lauren knew she was going to make a great mom. The jury was still out as far as Lauren was concerned, and sometimes it would just hit her out of nowhere: they were going to have a _kid_. Lauren was going to be a mom. It was pretty fucking terrifying.

Ron still hadn’t said anything.

“I know this goes against pretty much every fiber of your being,” Lauren said. “But we were kind of hoping, _I_ was hoping you would agree to be the godfather.”

He stared at her.

“It’s just... you’ve always been there for me, Ron. In your own way, that is, and it would just really mean a lot to me. I know we don’t see eye to eye on everything, but we do on the important stuff, and, yeah, I guess yeah. That’s all I wanted to say.”

“Congratulations,” he said. “I’ll do it.”

“Thank you, Ron,” she said. Lauren felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her chest. She hadn’t realised how much she wanted Ron to do this, and how much she was afraid that he _wouldn’t_ until he had agreed. “Thank you.”

She stood to leave.

“Burkiss,” he called when she was almost out the door. “Do not expect me to physically do anything,” he said.

She smiled. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Good girl,” he said.

She took a few more steps, and then paused at the door. “By the way,” she said. “It’s a boy.”

 

 

 

2026

 

 

 

In the back of the church, Lauren paced back and forth. She could pretty confidently say she was about to do the scariest thing she would ever do. She was about to get _married_.

And she was freaking the fuck out.

What had they been thinking? What had _she_ been thinking? She wasn’t ready to get married. She wasn’t old enough to get married. This was insane. This was nuts.

This was a really horrible idea.

She could feel her breath speed up. Her heart was racing, and she couldn’t think straight. She was on the verge of a panic attack, and if she didn’t get her breathing under control, she was going to be in real trouble.

The panic attacks were a recent development. It wasn’t until the end of her senior year of college that Lauren started to experience them. She was almost done with her degree, and she had no clue what she wanted to do. It hadn’t helped that she and Sandy had been dating, and even then Sandy had been sure of what she wanted to do. Sandy always knew she was going to be a nurse. It was straightforward and easy. It was the perfect job for Sandy, and she made a great nurse.

It hadn’t been easy for Lauren. She had no clue what she wanted to do with her life, and even after she had made the decision for law school, things hadn’t gotten easier. She still had no clue what she was doing.

And she thought she could get _married_? She was out of her mind. Clearly.

There was a knock at the door, startling her.

“Come in,” she managed.

“Burkiss,” Ron said.

She turned and stared at him.

“What’s wrong with you?” he asked.

“What am I doing?” she asked. “I can’t get married? What’s wrong with me?”

Ron looked pained. Finally he walked across the room, and gave her an awkward pat on the shoulder. Lauren managed a small smile.

“Listen up, Burkiss,” he said. “I’m only going to say this once, mostly because I don’t completely believe what I’m about to say, given my two, no three, failed marriages.”

Lauren chuckled, and tried to pretend it wasn’t watery.

“You are going to get married, and you are going to be happy. Sandy is a great girl, and you’re lucky to have her.”

Lauren nodded. “I know, I know. And I love her so much, I just don’t know if I can do this.”

“Man up, Burkiss,” he said. “Besides, she’s lucky to have you too.”

She squared her shoulders, and took a deep breath. He was right. He was right. She could do this.

He held out his arm and they walked out together.

 

 

 

2020

 

 

 

“Lauren Amanda Burkiss.”

Lauren could hear her mom cheering in the stands as she walked across the podium to accept her high school diploma. She shook hands with her principal and posed for a picture. Somehow, she made it back to her seat without tripping.

She was a high school graduate. She cheered for her classmates, and when the last one had crossed the stage, they all thew their caps in the air. They were done.

After her mom made her pose for what felt like six million photos, and Lauren returned her gown, she stood in front of her high school and took it all in.

“Congratulations,” a voice said.

She turned. “Hi Mr. Swanson.”

He waived his hand. “You’re a graduate now, Burkiss. I think you better stop calling me Mr. Swanson. Ron is fine.”

She smiled.

“Besides, ‘Mr. Swanson’ sounds so official. And you know how I feel about that.”

She did.

“So how does it feel?” he asked.

“Strange,” she admitted. “I was never a fan of school, but I might actually miss this place.”

Ron nodded.

“It’s a necessary evil,” he said. It reminded her of all the conversations they’d had over the last few years. The pros and cons of official institutions like school. Like government.

“I suppose,” she said.

“You mom invited me over for your party.”

“She did?” Lauren asked.

“I don’t think she was very happy about it.”

Lauren laughed outright at that. Her mom had never really... approved of her friendship with Mr. Swanson--Ron. It was hard for her to understand why Lauren liked talking to him so much, but she knew her mom made an effort because she thought Lauren should have male role models in her life. Even if she didn’t necessarily approve.

“I declined,” he said. “I think that’s best for everyone.”

“Well thanks for coming,” Lauren said. “It means a lot to me.” She walked over and gave him a hug. He was stiff next to her, and awkwardly patted her shoulder. She stepped back after a short moment.

“You did good, Burkiss.”

 

 

 

2019

 

 

 

“ _What_?”

The word was practically snarled at Lauren as she stood hesitantly in Ron’s office doorway.

“Hi,” she said.

Ron looked up and let out a low groan. The syllable stretched seemingly endlessly between them. “What?” he asked again.

“Um,” she said.

He held up his hand and motioned for her to come into his office. She shuffled forward and sat in the chair. She opened her mouth, but he held up a hand to stop her from speaking. Her jaw snapped shut, and Ron turned back towards his computer. Lauren sat and waited for him to finish writing his email, or whatever it was he was doing, but instead he just continued to stare blankly at the computer screen.

“Ron?” she asked. “Are you okay?”

He sighed and faced her, crossing his arms in front of him on the desk. “I was just seeing how long that distraction technique would work.” He looked at his watch. “Apparently ten seconds.”

“Well it’s not a very good one,” she offered.

He scoffed. “Like you could do better.”

“Excuse me? I’m a teenager. I’ve been effectively ignoring my parents for the last five years.”

He considered this. “You may have a point,” he conceded.

She nodded. “And I’d be happy to share those work avoiding tips with you.”

“If...” he prompted.

She cringed. “If you help me with this school project.” He groaned and she hurried on. “I’m supposed interview someone in the community who I respect and then write a report on them--”

“I’ll get Leslie,” he said.

She shook her head. “I don’t want to interview Leslie. I want to interview you.”

He groaned again. “Fine. But you better have some quality procrastination techniques, Burkiss.”

“I do,” she promised.

 

 

 

2016

 

 

 

“Mr. Swanson?” Lauren asked.

He turned, and Lauren could see that it was indeed him.

“Yes?” he asked.

“Hi!” she said. “I’m Lauren Burkiss. I’m not sure if you remember me, but we met like five years ago? I came to your office and you gave me--”

“A land mine, yes, I remember you Lauren.”

“What are you doing at the Library?” she asked.

He sighed. “That is a very long, and very complicated question,” he said. “I won’t bore you with the details.”

“O-okay,” Lauren said.

He looked down to the large pile of books in her hands. “What are you doing with those?”

She shrugged. “What you said. I’m reading them. Informing myself about government.”

He stared at her. “Really.”

She nodded. “Really.”

“Huh,” he said. Neither one of them said anything for a long moment. “You’re reading those books because I said you should be more informed?” he asked.

She nodded. “Well, yeah. After you told me all those things about how government works, and I had to rewrite that essay, I wanted to know more. Not just about what you said, or what the books said, but everything.”

“Well... that is unexpected.”

She shrugged. “I just, I dunno. What you said to me that day, it made sense. And even though I got in trouble and had to change it, it stuck with me.”

“But that was five years ago.”

She nodded. “I know, and I know a lot more too. For example, I think your ideas about libertarianism are completely wrong now.”

“You _what_?”

She nodded, and opened her mouth, but he held up a hand to stop her.

“How old are you now?” he asked.

“Fourteen.”

“Hmm,” he considered this. “Okay, listen up, Burkiss. I want you to ask your mother first, and if she says it’s okay come and see me sometime at my office. I want to know just what is ‘completely wrong’ about my ideas.”

She smiled. “Really?”

“Really. And tell her I promise not to give you any land mines.”

“Okay! See you later, Mr. Swanson.”

“Ron’s fine,” he said, but she was already gone.

 

 

 

2011

 

 

 

“You’ll sign this one for me?” Mr. Swanson asked.

Lauren nodded vigorously.

That essay hung in every office Ron had over the next twenty years.


End file.
